A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on

"A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on."

~Carl Sandburg

It's a new day!

It's a new day today! I plan to focus on only what I want to grow - good things! I am leaving the negative feelings (anger, resentment, hurt) behind. I get to choose what I pay attention to! I choose love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Pedestals should only be used for vases, ceramic cats and other decorative items

This may seem a silly thing to talk about....but I miss facebook. The connection with people I love and like and want to stay in touch with. I plan to join again in the summer and I will be more selective, It never occurred to me that when I posted things that there were those who patrolled and judged. So, about that photo at Emerald Downs last May? Not that I need to do any explaining. I was there for a 25th birthday party one of my daughter's friends hosted - "The Jentucky Derby." It's kind of weird how I have avoided certain places and activities for over 20 years, and now if I want to, I could go to a buffet at a casino (I have never been and heard some have really good ones). I could go to a nightclub for a drink and to dance with my hubby if I wanted to. There have always been certain things that I just didn't do, although it didn't bother me at all if and when others did. I realize in retrospect that I was placed on a pedestal (by certain people) that I didn't ask to be put on and never wanted to be on. I thought that I was accepted just for being me. Being honest, upon self-evaluation, I have to ask did I perpetuate the dread pedestal perception by the constraints in my own mind on whether certain things were "proper" or not for me to do? Did I really think that wearing pants or jeans on Sundays because I worked with the kids was setting me apart as someone who is not ruled by a bunch of "oughts," "musts" and "shoulds?" One good, kind person who happens to be a pastor's wife can be "taken out" by one person who began gossiping and slandering to others because she didn't like finding out that the "pastor's wife" supports marriage equality. Terrible accusations have been made about me, and worst of all, of my husband, who didn't even know about this woman's e-mails and comments to me until a month after it happened. I love to visit and talk, but I don't go running to the nearest person to fill up their ear with some juicy tidbit that gets juicier with every retelling. And just to illustrate - this same person always wanted to tell me in any conversation I had with her about how the people who call her at work to schedule self-improvement and reconstructive procedures are so sad and pathetic (she's a scheduler at a plastic surgeon's office). I would change the subject. There's nothing wrong with wanting to feel good about yourself and if a little (or a lot) of aesthetic assistance increases your confidence (and you can afford it), it is no one else's business, certainly not the schedulers. That reminds me - I need to find out the name of the docs she works for so I never go there. Okay, I guess you can tell - in the stages of grief and loss, I'm hitting a bit of an angry patch. As we know, anger is not a primary emotion, so there's probably some hurt undergirding it. I've got to just plow through this, feel the feelings, process and move on. I will get through this. And maybe after I do, I will go have a seafood buffet (or should I say "see-food" buffet) at the Muckleshoot casino, or somewhere like that, and then go to a nice nightclub and have a pretty, girly drink and dance with my hubby.

Dare To Believe

You can't be all things to all people.
You can't do all things at once.
You can't do all things equally well.
You can't do all things better than everyone else.
Your humanity is showing just like everyone else's.

So:
You have to find out who you are, and be that.
You have to decide what comes first, and do that.
You have to discover your strengths, and use them.
You have to learn not to compete with others,
Because no one else is in the contest of *being you.*

Then:
You will have learned to accept your own uniqueness.
You will have learned to set priorities and make decisions.
You will have learned to live with your limitations.
You will have learned to give yourself the respect that is due.
And you'll be a most vital mortal.

Dare To Believe:
That you are a wonderful, unique person.
That you are a once-in-all-history event.
That it's more than a right, it's your duty, to be who you are.
That life is not a problem to solve, but a gift to cherish.
And you'll be able to stay one up on what used to get you down.

God's Love and Ours

7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.

8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

9 This is how God showed his love among us. He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.

10 This is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.

11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

12 No one has ever seen God, but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

1 John 4:7-12 (NIV)

Let there be peace on earth

Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.

Let there be peace on earth, the peace that was meant to be.

With God as our Father, brothers all are we.

Let me walk with my brother in perfect harmony.

Let peace begin with me. Let this be the moment now.

With every breath I take, let this be my solemn vow;

To take each moment and live each moment in peace eternally.

Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.

Too Blessed to be Stressed!

"He that is a friend loves at all times: and a brother is proved in distress."

~Proverbs 17:17

The Prodigal (or Lost) Son

I love the verse that while he (the prodigal son) was a long way off, his father saw him. His father had been scanning the horizon looking for him for some time. His father has probably been praying for him and hoping for his safe return. Filled with compassion for his son, he ran to him. The father did not know what the son was going to say ahead of time. He could've been coming to hit him up for more money. Still, the father ran to him filled with compassion. He threw his arms around his son and he kissed him. Son still had not said sorry, forgive me, or anything yet. This is the love that the father has for his son. This is the love that God has for us, his children. We are receivers of this great love from Him that we have done nothing to deserve. Surely, we can strive to imitate the role model of our Heavenly Father's love for us as we show love to others. It is not an easy thing, however with continued practice and with asking Him for help, it can be done.
Luke 15:11-32
New International Version (NIV)
The Parable of the Lost Son 11 Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. 12 The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.
13 “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14 After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15 So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16 He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.
17 “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ 20 So he got up and went to his father.
“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
21 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. 24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.
25 “Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 27 ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’
28 “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29 But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’
31 “‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32 But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”

"Owies" and Healing

"Owies" are kind of amazing. I've always had a sweet tooth. When I was a child, on occasion, I would gather up all the (glass) pop bottles and walk to the store to return them for the deposit money and buy candy. I was on my way to do this and carrying a big brown grocery bag full of bottles in my arms, didn't see the break and rise in the pavement below me. I tripped and fell forward, breaking some of the bottles. A piece of glass punctured the back of my lower right arm. I looked at the damages, left the mess of bottles on the ground, put pressure on the injury on my arm and walked back home to clean it up and care for it. It was a mess and stitches were comtemplated, however we had just moved and my family didn't have medical insurance coverage yet, so butterfly bandages (like steri-strips) were applied to the injury. It looked pretty awful for a week or so, and then was red and irritated looking for quite awhile, and then bit by bit, the scar faded and now is not even noticeable, unless I really look for it. Healing is a miracle when I think about it. Not just physical healing, but also emotional healing. When an injury or trauma occurs, it is so fresh and painful, constantly reminding of its' presence in the consciousness. Given time and any appropriate treatment, the healing begins, and there may come a day when the experience, although very painful at the time, is a faded scar and memory. And the wonder of resiliency and healing.

Grace

"Grace is something you can never get but only be given. The grace of God means something like: Here is your life. You might never have been, but you are because the party wouldn't have been complete without you. Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid. I am with you. Nothing can ever separate us. It's for you. I created the universe. I love you. There's only one catch. Like any other gift, the gift of grace can be yours only if you reach out and take it. Maybe being able to reach out and take it is a gift too.”
~from the book Wishful Thinking by Frederick Buechner

I sing because I'm happy
I sing because I'm free
His eye is on the sparrow
and He watches over me.

"The true treasure of a man is how he treats someone he meets who can do absolutely nothing for him.". -Ann Landers

Love is....

Love is patient
Love is kind
Love does not envy
Love does not boast
Love is not proud
Love is not rude
Love always trusts
Love always hopes
Love never fails
-from 1 Corinthians, chapter 13

Happy Saint Patrick's Day

May the road rise up to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face
And the rain fall soft upon your fields,
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of his hand.
-Irish Blessing

"Blessed is the influence of one true, loving human soul on another." -George Eliot

On Being Stuck

The woman brought to Jesus who had been caught in adultery would be stoned as per the custom of the day. She was stuck in her fate. The men who brought her to Jesus were stuck in following the law of those times that she should be stoned to death. Jesus thoughtfully paused for a few minutes before answering what was to be done about her (after the men reminded him of the law of Moses and questioned him several times) Jesus said "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her. Again, Jesus waited quietly, and one by one the men went away until Jesus was the only one left with the woman. He asked her "Where are your accusers? Has no one condemned you." She said, "No one, sir." Jesus declared, "Then neither do I condemn you. Go and leave your life of sin." She, who had been stuck in her fate, was free to go. The men who were stuck in judgment and in the law of Moses were free to go. We are all free in Christ. With His help, each person can choose not to continue to be stuck in the habit of judging and condemning others. Jesus' thoughts on the subject are very clear as evidenced by the story above, which is found in John 8: 1-11.

thoughts regarding sanctity

sanc·ti·ty (sngkt-t)
1. Holiness of life or disposition; saintliness.
2. The quality or condition of being considered sacred; inviolability.
3. Something considered sacred.

Sanctity is a lovely word and a lovely ideal. Were that it may be so....as we know, it isn't. Christian marriages have as high divorce rate as non-Christians. Christians also fall prey to (or actively seek and engage in) those other less than sanctified behaviors that non-Christians do. The follies of human beings - make for very good tele-dramas, but not so good real life events. Plenty of fodder though for that bored small number of folks to have plenty to talk about, or even the not so bored that just delight in carrying their tales from one ear to the next. Sanctity is a lovely ideal, definitely something to strive for in an individual, quiet way. As something to demand from others, and act affronted if they don't share your passion for the definition of sanctity in as how it relates to you and your marriage - that tends to bring out very unsanctified behavior from those who are shouting accusatory and ugly things at the other, less "sanctified" (in their eyes) people, and that just defiles everyone, doesn't it? Maybe a revisit to the Golden Rule would be in order here.

"Happiness is a form of courage."

~George Holbrook Jackson

Thoughts from James 4:11-12

The Bible has a lot to say about the subjects of gossiping, slandering and judging. More than it says about a few other issues that seem to be the hot issues these days that cause so much division.

In James 4:11-12, "Brothers (and sisters), do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you - who are you to judge your neighbor?"

And what is this law that is spoken of in these verses? Jesus summarized the law as love for God and neighbor (Matthew 22:37-40), and Paul said that love demonstrated toward a neighbor would fully satisfy the law (Romans 13:6-10). When we fail to love, we are actually breaking God's law.

where you're at

I have some expressions - my family calls them "sue-isms." One of my favorites is "Where you're at is where you're at until you're not there anymore." I love this saying because it reminds me just as I am growing and changing, others are too. Maybe some get stuck (sometimes forever) in the same place, however this saying still reminds me to give myself, and others - grace, because where you're at is where you're at...until you're not there anymore.

I love the hope and promise that each new day brings.

the Christian "prescription" to gayness

I recently felt just a tiny fraction of the animosity and backlash that gay people feel constantly. In late Jan, someone from my church realized from a comment on my facebook that I am not against marriage equality. It took about five weeks for this woman to work her destructive forces behind the scenes, which culminated in my husband resigning Feb. 26th from his pastorate of twelve years. He was also accused of faulty theology, universalism, a social gospel and being deceptive in coming to minister at that church in 2000. I have only formed the opinion that I am for marriage equality in the past year, after thinking about it the previous 3 years. In 2000, I did not think anything at all about gay people, their rights, or lack of. I didn't even know any gay people, at least I didn't know it if anyone was. I felt bad for the heartache my husband went through, and I realize how much he loves me because he would not ask me to change my view to please him or anyone. He accepts me and loves me just because I'm me.

I've thought a lot about this topic recently and have come to the conclusion that some people who claim to be the good and right Christians (and therefore the authority on every theological subject and able to discern the Bible perfectly and act as God's mouthpiece on every topic, like modern-day prophets, sharing their wisdom and light with the rest of us poor saps who do not possess this miraculous insight) basically have four prescriptions for the person who claims to be gay and a Christian.

1.) Marry someone of the opposite gender, pretend to be straight, and raise a family, and hope that if your partner ever realizes something is amiss, that they are willing to stay with you and keep up the charade for your lifetimes.

2.) Be celibate. Today, and for the rest of your life.

3.) Give in to your "unnatural" desires and be in an intimate relationship with your soul mate, your companion, the light of your life (and live your life as best as you can in this hostile world) and know that the fiery pit of hell and eternal damnation awaits you both.

4.) Or, kill yourself and be done with it. Just do it - put those who judge you out of their misery.

I don't know what others think, but I think these are terrible and unacceptable options. I wouldn't wish them on someone who I didn't like, let alone my friends. So add me to your naughty (er, I mean your "prayer" list) and gossip behind my back (er, I mean share your "loving concern" with your other "GCB's").

I truly feel sorry for the GCB's. To miss out on all the love and joy of wonder of life, of accepting people just as they are, of being real, and having real friends. I'll take my life any day, with the struggles of being real, of being true to myself, of learning and growing and changing - over the dark, sad little boxes where you have put yourselves, and try to shove anyone else who will let you - into, everyday.

I am a proud straight ally, and yes, I am also a Christian.

My meditations for today

" Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." ~Ephesians 4:32

"Breathe in, Breathe out, Move on." ~my friend Debbie H.

My prayer for today

My prayer for today:
"May I be the yardstick of compassion, not the microscope of blame."

The 7 Deadly Sins

This list is remarkable not only because of what is listed, but also because of what is not listed:
A proud look.
A lying tongue.
Hands that shed innocent blood.
A heart that devises wicked plots.
Feet that are swift to run into mischief.
A deceitful witness that uttereth lies.
Him that soweth discord among brethren.
-from the book of Proverbs

In the past week, I left a place that I loved in and cared for the past twelve years. I will not return there, yet it remains with me. I will no longer be there, and yet whispers of me will remain "I have loved. I have cared." When the little ones in the preschool room say "In this room we care for our friends." "God planned for me to grow." "We always use the handrail on the stairs." "God gave me helping hands." "We take turns." "We share." In the brightly hung curtains, the thoughtfully chosen books, puzzles and toys, I whisper "I care about you, I love you." From the children playing "shepherd" and taking their 'candy cane' shepherd rod to rescue the one little sheep that had strayed. From the organized, thoughtful supply room to the extra serving bowls and platters, extra punch bowls, colorful tablecloths and the high chair in the fellowship hall, the cd players, the microwaves, and refrigerators in the S.S. rooms, all whisper of my care, in my behind the scenes way. The imprints on my heart from conversations and shared experiences with parents, and with other members I had the privilege to know and to love are memories I cherish. You shared your hearts with me and I with you and I will always remember you. <3

My heart is the home I carry with me

When you move a lot, you learn about leaving. It is more familiar than staying put. I have not moved much the last 3 decades of life, however the first two decades I lived at 69 addresses (not an exxageration). I learned that my heart is the home I carry with me. I don't live alone there, though at times I may feel like I do. I met Jesus when I was 13 years old. The journey since may not always be smooth, however I have not walked alone since that day in the summer of 1973, the most amazing experience and important decision in my life.